Yeah, but he called her Cleo
by Lydiarrr
Summary: After a short but eventful trip, the Doctor is left to deal with the consequences. 10Doctor/Rose -Rated M for strong language :
1. Alarm Bells

'Rose, please'

'No'

'Rose, listen to me!'

' No'

She skidded round the corner in a wave of fury, her hair whipping around her face angrily. He knew what was coming and he knew that it would hurt just as much as last time, however long he put it off.

'Look, Rose, come on'

'Oh, save the fucking apologies'

He hated it when she swore.

He hated it more, however, when the heavy oak door slammed shut on his face.

'Roseeeeeeeeeee' He wailed, pummelling the door 'She started it, babe, promise'

No answer. Fuck.

He tried a new tactic.

'Rose, sweetheart, it didn't mean anything'

Still no answer.

Oh no, wait. Shed thrown something fragile against the door. His mind ran through all the expensive, glass, rare, alien things she had in her bedroom and prayed it wasn't anything that couldn't be replaced.

'Rosiee'

Oh shit.

'What did you just call me?' the door had opened a smidge and two scarily furious eyes were peering at him. Shed been crying. As much as he was scared he was also heartbroken he'd made her cry.

Again.

Bollocks.

'Rose, please listen to me. Just hear me out, you can hate me as much as you like afterwards, just ple- what's that noise?'

'What noise?'

'The one coming from inside your room'

'The wailing?'

'Yeah'

For an instant she looked disgruntled rather than annoyed.

'I threw that alarm clock against the door and it started screaming at me'

'Where is it now'

'I shoved it inside a pair of socks'

He suppressed the snigger that was rising up his throat and instead gave her his best 'let-me-help-looks'. Not that he really cared about the stupid alarm but he was thankful of the break.

'Get in, turn it off, get out again' She sniffed. He nodded, knowing full well that if he didn't she would slap him into next Tuesday.

By experience he knew she took after her mother.

Slightly relieved he wandered into the room, instantly hit by the pink radiation it seemed to emit. He remembered painting this room and buying the furniture, all Ikea. He had never to this day understood why humans needed to give inanimate objects names, but then, he thought fairly, it is a Swedish shop.

Rose cleared her throat meaningfully and he decided now was the time to get a move on.

'Sorry' he mumbled, wondering how a nine-hundred year old time lord could possibly be reduced to this.

It was his own fault really and he knew it.

He picked his way through her underwear drawer, carefully avoiding lacy looking numbers and attempting to keep his focus completely on locating the noise. He knew socks weren't kept in here, but he thought he'd amuse himself and fulfil a few needs that had been buzzing around his mind for quite a while. After all, it had been years since he had seen any underwear that wasn't his own.

Reluctantly he closed the drawer, realising that maybe he had taken a bit too long in there and decided to swiftly locate the noise and disable it. The socks weren't too hard to find, generally they were the bulkiest of her 'private garments' and after a quick blast from the sonic screwdriver the noise stopped.

She didn't thank him. Instead she directly avoided his gaze and gave out all possible body signals that she wasn't interested.

He took the hint and with a dejected sigh, left the room, excuses and pleas for forgiveness screaming round his head as he tried to pick out the best one to give to her.

'Rose?' He mumbled, holding the door open with his hand and silently praying that hers didn't decide to slap him. She let her eyes wander towards him, still burning with fury.

'What do you want?'

'Im sorry, really, I mean, me and her. There is nothing, nothing, going on between us, she was an old girlfriend-'

'A very old girlfriend' She cut in, bitterly

'Yes, but the point is, I love you not her, Rose listen to me, Me and Cleo, its all in the past.'

'The distant past' She added.

He was beginning to get a bit annoyed 'Yes, but please, she kissed me. Honest, I didn't want her to'

'Right'

'Ok?'

No answer

'Rose?'

'What?'

'Think about it?'

'Right'

'Right'

He strode out of the room and allowed her to close the door behind him, confident in his argument.

He would have to do one hell of a favour to comeback this but whatever it was he could do it.

Hopefully, anyway.


	2. Crying out loud

Ok, he knew it was going to be big and, by his knowledge of Rose her knowledge of him, he also knew it would involve something domestic.

But this was just ridiculous.

Jackie's flat always smelled funny, he had decided, and the mixture of cigarette smoke and baby sick was starting to make him queasy. He hated kids. A small gurgle erupted from the pushchair as he wearily began to rock it backwards and forwards with the tip of his toe.

Of course, Rose was out partying.

With his credit card.

He sighed wearily and lay back on the couch.

'Another tea?'

'No thanks, twelve's my limit.'

Alright, she was a nice person and, yes, she was the mother of his 'travelling companion' (or as his mind frequently called it 'The-woman-with-which-he-would-like-to-marry-and-have-lots-of-sex-and-babies' however he couldn't quite fit that into casual conversation. Especially not with her mother).

Another sigh as he retreated into the corners of his mind.

Motherfucking abyss more like.

God he hated domestics. He wondered how many times he could say it before it changed and became something which sounded rude. Kinda like 'Cape Horn'

'Cape horn' He said loudly.

'Gay what?'

'Nothing'

He was going insane, he must be. He was in Jackie's flat, babysitting for Jackie's niece, drinking Jackie's tea. With Jackie. Alone.

And he hadn't been bitchslapped yet.

Well, technically he wasn't 'Babysitting' he was 'bonding with Roses family'.

To be fair, he would rather bond with the Slitheen family after a baked beans fest. To be fair, it would probably smell a little better as well.

'Do you mind if I just nip out? There's this man who works behind the fish counter in Tesco's...'

He got that far, and then stopped listening. He was starting to wonder if he would turn gay after all this 'man talk'. Oh god, he'd have to grow his hair. Read magazines. Be interested in things to do with people who weren't about to get horribly mutilated.

He noticed that Jackie had stopped talking.

'Sure, Jackie, be as long as you like'

She smiled at him. The smile he didn't like. The 'flirty' smile.

Jesus.

Rose better hurry up. It must be past midnight by now. She could be getting raped, or stabbed, or chatted up. She could have her drink spiked or aliens could kidnap her or something. He glanced anxiously at the clock on the windowsill.

9:15.

And what's more, he was beginning to sound like her dad.

Brilliant.

He'd spent too long with Jackie. He knew it. He knew he should have accepted the slap of Rose herself there and then. But he had to keep his dignity.

And half his face to be quite honest.

Stupid time lords. He cursed, momentarily forgetting the baby in the pushchair, and the fact loud noises- or swear words- tend to make them cry.

Balls.

Unsure of what to do he gingerly scooped it out of the chair and onto his knee. He'd make a crap dad, he decided.

'Um...don't cry?' He knew it was pathetic before he even finished the sentence. He held the baby at arm's length and studied it carefully.

'Don't cry, please?' It was useless. He was useless.

'OW'

At least it found his pain funny. He prodded the side of his face, making sure that the regular tuft of hair was still intact. Relieved, he put the baby back in the pram and went to raid the kitchen.

There had to be something he could do to stop it from wailing. Anything. He frantically searched the cupboards, looking for something- anything- to feed it with. He was pretty sure they needed milk.

Pretty sure.


	3. Maybe not the babies

Shit.

She knew from personal experience how worried he could get about her and, by this point; she reasoned that he would probably be onto the idea that she'd been abducted by aliens for being with him.

Crap crap crap crap crap.

12:01

She'd promised she'd be back by 12.

She'd also promised never to forgive him but that idea went out of the window pretty sharpish.

It wasn't his fault

Not really.

She always did this; maybe she really did take after her mother.

Sweet Jesus.

The familiar smell of tea and cigarette smoke drifted under her nose and told her that she would be back home soon. She never could realise why her flat smelled of cigarettes seen as nobody who lived there smoked, but she was still relieved as she approached the balcony.

Realising a little too late that she looked like she had been out on the pull.

Bollocks.

Gingerly she pushed open the front door, a little worried as to what may be awaiting her. After all, she had no idea whether or not the doctor would be aquatinted into the task of caring for a small podgy human.

As it turns out, he was not.

Powdered baby formula adorned the sofa and the jacket, which hung over the arm of the chair, was splattered with something suspicious looking. The lack of crying told her that, thankfully, the baby was asleep although the amount of stuff exploded over the floor told her that getting it to that stance was not an easy task.

However, all thoughts aside, the lack of Doctor was starting to worry her slightly.

Pulling off her coat, she peeked around her mothers' bedroom door, silently praying that her worst fears had not been met.

She knew what her mother was like.

Just like she knew for a fact there was a bottle of vodka in the cupboard under the sink, which she promptly checked on.

So maybe everything was now okay again.

Thank the lord.

Her suspicions now cleared, she took the two, large feet dangling from the sofa as a clue, and took upon this clue in the best possible manner.

By creeping up and grabbing them.

In usual circumstances, this can generally be slept through. Unless you're the doctor.

And unless you fell asleep on a sofa in your best friends mothers house.

His eyes fluttered open and met hers with a smile.

'Rose?'

He mumbled this as though still asleep. She ran her fingers through his and looked at him questioningly.

'Yes?'

'Lets never have babies?'

The mumble had barley left his lips before he pulled her down, laid her beside him and fell back into his sleep. Holding her close and breathing steadily against her face..

All anger aside, she thought as she fell asleep,

She had to agree.


	4. Laundry

_Ok, first off I would like to say the most ENORMOUS thank you to all of my subscribers, story favouriters, readers. You have truly made writing these worthwhile, especially now I know somebody actually likes them. Secondly, an EPIC apology for not updating in so long, my life atm is just REVISE REVISE REVISE, EXAMS EXAMS EXAMS and it's getting harder to find time to make time to update these. Please bear with me, I will try and update as often as I can._

_P.s; a special apology to Alice, as I know she hates it when people do this, sorryy :D_

* * *

It was dark and, to avoid waking her, he had decided to carry her into the comfiest bed in the TARDIS.

Which just happened to be his.

He lay her gently on the pillow and sniffed casually, looking around the room with a disgruntled frown. Although he did not want to admit it, he was a bit of a slob.

She moaned gently and rolled over, taking up more or less the entire, bigger-than-king-size bed in the process. Although he didn't want to admit it, it was both cute and impossible at the same time. He smiled, dirty laundry in hand, and wandered over to the wash basket.

At least the room was getting slightly tidier.

Kneeling down, he reached under the bed to fish out what he presumed was once an old sock.

'So that's the new life form the Tardis registered the other day' He mumbled to himself, dropping it gingerly in the pile. The room didn't look that bad, he thought to himself, glancing around and tip-toeing over to the door. He'd be nice to her, he decided, it wasn't her fault, not really.

Smiling at her, he lifted the, strangely heavy, wash basket and attempt to lumber out of the room, tripping gingerly over stray underwear and runaway books. He really needed to sort out his act, clean up, sort himself out. He would be the best man ever, she would fall for him unconditionally and be with him forever, people would be so jealous of the love and devotion which they both shared.

'Doctor?'

He hadn't quite realised just how loud he was humming 'chariots of fire' until she woke up. Epic tune, not quite fitting for the actual situation.

'Hmmm?' He was attempting to be nonchalant, hoping that she wouldn't notice the endless pile of boxers that he was attempting to drag out of the door, or his terrible humming.

Or, come to mention it, the rather inappropriate looking, bright pink, leather-bound book which was peeking, sneakily, from underneath the bedside cabinet.

'Where am I?' Yawns.

'My room, I, er, brought you in here so you wouldn't wake up'

Sleepy smiles.

That was good, he was at least off the hook until she remembered what had happened to cause her to fall asleep. He smiled at her, and gestured out of the room.

'Tea?'

'Please' She cat stretched, her back arching gracefully from the mattress and her hips thrust upwards towards th-

'Do you mind?' Her smile was cheeky and slightly mischievous. He blinked and closed his open mouth.

'Um, sorry, yes, tea, I'll just' He shuffled out of the room, mentally bitchslapping himself for staring.

He waltzed down the corridor, humming a non-existent tune, eyes closed in an eternal picture of the future he hoped to have and quickly and painfully disappeared down a stray flight of stairs.


	5. The little pink book

'What are you doing?'

A voice mumbled generally from beneath the console, followed by a number of bangs and curses as Rose peered carefully through the mesh flooring, trying to not wonder too hard about what had broken this time and attempting to suppress the smile which had been trying to pop up since she awoke.

'Sorry?'

A beaming head popped up in front of her, coughed meaningfully and then retreated back under the floor.

'I'm not coming out until you put something decent on, you're making the TARDIS blush' Said the head, sounding both bemused and focused at the same time. Rose frowned and looked down at herself.

'This is decent'

A raised eyebrow appeared before her, followed closely by a face.

'I'm sorry, Rose, but a vest and boy-shorts is, in no way, classed as decent. Now, if you do not go back into your room and change immediately, I will be forced to do something very drastic'

Rose stood her ground and looked down at the face which was attempting a totally serious expression. She smiled a slow, mischievous smile and bit her tongue with meaningful charm.

'I don't believe you' putting both hands behind her back and swaying from side to side, she looked down at him.

The face sighed a sigh of faked exasperation and the body it was attached to climbed up out of the floor, drawing itself up to its full height and putting its hands on its hips. Rose looked up and down the full figure and quickly re-assesd the situation.

'I'll just go and get changed then' she said, dejectedly heading towards the door.

'Now, now, I'm sure we could both come to terms with how you are right now' mumbled a voice in her ear, hands snaking round her hips and settling on her tummy. Rose smiled and attempted to pull away from his grip.

'No, you said I needed to change, so I will'

He spun her round with effortless ease and brought her close to him, their noses touching gently, his eyes scanning her face, her blonde waves, her deep blue eyes.

'I'm sure we could come to an agreement' his voice had turned slightly deeper and had a sexy edge, the one which he knew Rose couldn't resist, the one he knew she melted at.

So he was pretty surprised when she smiled and kissed him on the nose, squirming out of his touch and skipping off to the kitchen.

'I'm not giving you anything until you tell me what that little pink book in your room is doing there and when you expect to be using it' She called over her shoulder, not bothering to keep the smile from her voice 'Oh, and you also never told me what you were doing under the floor. AND you owe me seven quid from when I betted you I could beat you at hide and seek'

He dropped his hands with a disappointed sniff and turned to follow her, sucking in his cheeks and trying to think of excuses as to explain the little, conspicuous pink book.


End file.
